Today’s Illustration: How To Win Friends

win 2

On This Day: November 24, 1888 — Born — Dale Harbison Carnagey

“Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) described himself as a “simple country boy” from Missouri but was also a pioneer of the self-improvement genre. Since the 1936 publication of his first book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, he has touched millions of readers and his classic works continue to impact lives to this day.”

From the 1936 Edition:

“I personally interviewed scores of successful people, some of them world-famous — inventors like Marconi and Edison, political leaders like Franklin D. Roosevelt and James Farley; business leaders like Owen D. Young; movies stars like Clark Gable and Mary Pickford; and explorers like Marin Johnson — and tired to discover the techniques they used in human relations.

From all this material, I prepared a short talk. I called it “How to Win Friends and Influence People. I say “sort.” It was short in the beginning, but it soon expanded to a lecture that consumed one hour and thirty minutes.”

If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of this book — if you aren’t then a little better equipped to meet life’s situation, then I shall consider this book to be a total failure so far as you are concerned. “For the great aim of education,” said Herbert Spencer, “is not knowledge but action.”

And this is an action book — Dale Carnegie, 1936

— How To Win . . . .pg xviii,xxi

Facts & Information:

Parents: “Carnegie’s parents, Elizabeth and J.W. Carnagey, bought a farm on the outskirts of Belton in 1910. The house still stands today on Carnegie Street, just west of the railroad tracks. Mrs. Carnagey was a member of the Methodist church and active in its missionary society. She organized Belton’s first Sunday school class. “

Born November 24, 1888, on a farm in Maryville/Belton, Missouri.

Became interested in speaking during his teen years during the days of the Chautauqua Speaking Movement.

1911-1912 — moved to New York and ended up unemployed, living at the YMCA.

“. . . . living at the YMCA on 125th Street. There he got the idea to teach public speaking, and he persuaded the YMCA manager to allow him to instruct a class in return for 80% of the net proceeds. In his first session, he had run out of material. Improvising, he suggested that students speak about “something that made them angry”, and discovered that the technique made speakers unafraid to address a public audience. From this 1912 debut, the Dale Carnegie Course evolved. Carnegie had tapped into the average American’s desire to have more self-confidence, and by 1914, he was earning $500 (about $12,200 today) every week.”

— wikipedia

Changed his name to Dale Carnegie, after the last name of the steelmaker, Andrew Carnegie.

Married: 1927 — Lolita Beaucaire and divorced in 1931
Remarried: Dorothy Price Vanderpool in 1944 – also divorced – date unknown

Children: Donna Dale Carnegie, from second marriage

Became an American speaker, author, and lecturer on the subject of public speaking.

Author Of: “How To Win Friends & Influence People” — Published in 1936. One of the best selling books of all time. Over 15 million copies have been sold worldwide. The New York Times listed it as one of the 100 most influential books of all time.

“Major sections and points

1.1 Twelve Things This Book Will Do For You
1.2 Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1.3 Six Ways to Make People Like You
1.4 Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
1.5 Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
1.6 Letters That Produced Miraculous Results
1.7 Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier”

— wikipedia

The book sold for $2.00 in its first printing.

In his lifetime, it sold approximately — “4,844,938 copies, of which 1,420,938 were in the hard-cover edition”

It has been translated into twenty-nine languages.

Approximately eight million people have taken his course.

Died November 1, 1955

“If you and I want to stir up resentment tomorrow that may rankle across the decades and endure until death, just let us indulge in a little stinging criticism – no matter how certain we are that it is justified.”

— Dale Carnegie

Other Famous Quotes:

“Here are 32 Inspirational & Motivational Dale Carnegie Quotes

1. “Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.” – Dale Carnegie

2. “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” – Dale Carnegie

3. “Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.” – Dale Carnegie

4.“I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.” – Dale Carnegie

5. “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” – Dale Carnegie

6. “Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.” – Dale Carnegie

7. “It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” – Dale Carnegie

8. “If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done.” – Dale Carnegie

9. “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie

10th Dale Carnegie Quote – “You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.” – Dale Carnegie

11. “Big shots are only little shots who kept on shooting.” – Dale Carnegie

12. “The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simply. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.” – Dale Carnegie

13. “Arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.” – Dale Carnegie

14. “You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or is discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” – Dale Carnegie

15. “all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” – Dale Carnegie

16. “Winning friends begins with friendliness.” – Dale Carnegie

17. “Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurt his sense of importance and arouses resentment.” – Dale Carnegie

18. “If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.” – Dale Carnegie

19th Dale Carnegie Quote – “To be interesting, be interested.” – Dale Carnegie

20. “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” – Dale Carnegie

21. “Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves.” – Dale Carnegie

22. “The chronic kicker, even the most violent critic, will frequently soften and be subdued in the presence of a patient, sympathetic listener – a listener who will be silent while the irate fault-finder dilates like a king cobra and spews the poison out of his system.” – Dale Carnegie

23. “Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.” – Dale Carnegie

24. “Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.” – Dale Carnegie

25. “Names are the sweetest, most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie

26. “By fighting, you never get enough – but by yielding, you get more than you expected.” – Dale Carnegie

27. “Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.’” – Dale Carnegie

28. “Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.” – Dale Carnegie

29. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

30. “It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.” – Dale Carnegie

31. “If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.” – Dale Carnegie

32. “Today is life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto.” – Dale Carnegie

Key Illustrative Thoughts: (see the article on using quotations – link)

• evangelism
• arguments
• winning an argument
• the tongue
• winsomeness
• public speaking
• poverty to success
• couldn’t “win” his wives
• resentment
• “no matter how justified”
• changing your name doesn’t make you connected
• friends
• influence people
• millionaire and lost
• millions of books sold but missed the most important book
• win friends and lose the greatest Friend
• How to win people
• a book for this life, but not the life after
• It didn’t help his marriage(s).